TSA
 
 

JULY 16, 2011

Woman accused of groping female TSA agent in Phoenix

PHOENIX — Authorities say a Colorado woman who allegedly groped a female Transportation Security Administration agent at Phoenix's international airport is facing a felony count of sexual abuse.


JULY 12, 2011

Scientists question cancer risks of full-body scanners

Millions of fliers pass through them, but scientific experts are still at odds about the safety of full-body airport scanners that use an X-ray technology called backscatter.


JULY 12, 2011

Mom gets layover in jail after yelling at TSA

A Tennessee woman landed in jail after allegedly yelling at Transportation Security Administration officers and refusing to allow her daughter to go through a full-body scanner and a pat-down search.


JUNE 24, 2011

TSA CHANGES CHILD PAT-DOWN PROCEDURES

Already widely criticized for the controversial airport security technique, the TSA has come under increased fire after reports surfaced that its officers patted down a 6-year-old girl and an 8-month-old.


JUNE 24, 2011

Texas Anti-Groping Bill a mockery??

Under the current language, the bill would make it a misdemeanor for TSA agents to touch a person's private parts during a security check, unless there was probable cause.

Simpson says it is necessary to list the areas of the body that are off limits.

"I wish could refer to them just as private parts, but they need to know where they should stop. We could put the bathing suit rule," Simpson said.


JUNE 18, 2011

Lawmaker wants to criminalize ‘intrusive’ searches by airport screeners (click here!)

“The federal government is not God,” McMillin said Friday. “It doesn’t get to decide what it can do to our citizens. This is one law that needs to be in place.”


MAY 13, 2011

TSA Agents mistakenly identify baby food as explosives; baby goes hungry.

I said, 'That's the only food we have for him,'" said Kimarie Ankenbrand, Bruce's mother. "We're getting on a flight, a three-hour flight."

Bruce's frantic mom told News 8 that agents swabbed her small packages of baby food for traces of explosives. The packages tested positive. The baby food itself, which is organic and contains no chemicals, was not tested.

TSA
Prepare to be 
GATE-RAPED!
Miss America gets fingered-raped by TSA agents and takes her video viral!

I found this letter, take it as you will... 


Enjoy! 


As the Chalk Leader for my flight home from Afghanistan, I witnessed the

following:


When we were on our way back from Afghanistan, we flew out of Baghram

Air Field. We went through customs at BAF, full body scanners (no

groping), had all of our bags searched, the whole nine yards.

Our first stop was Shannon, Ireland to refuel. After that, we had to

stop at Indianapolis, Indiana to drop off about 100 folks from the

Indiana National Guard. That's where the stupid started.


First, everyone was forced to get off the plane-even though the plane

wasn't refueling again. All 330 people got off that plane, rather than

let the 100 people from the ING get off. We were filed from the plane to

a holding area. No vending machines, no means of escape. Only a

male/female latrine.


It's probably important to mention that we were ALL carrying weapons.

Everyone was carrying an M4 Carbine (rifle) and some, like me, were also

carrying an M9 pistol. Oh, and our gunners had M-240B machine guns. Of

course, the weapons weren't loaded. And we had been cleared of all ammo

well before we even got to customs at Baghram, then AGAIN at customs.


The TSA personnel at the airport seriously considered making us unload

all of the baggage from the SECURE cargo hold to have it reinspected.

Keep in mind, this cargo had been unpacked, inspected piece by piece by

U.S. Customs officials, resealed and had bomb-sniffing dogs give it a

one-hour run through. After two hours of sitting in this holding area,

the TSA decided not to reinspect our Cargo-just to inspect us again:

Soldiers on the way home from war, who had already been inspected,

reinspected and kept in a SECURE holding area for 2 hours. Ok, whatever.

So we lined up to go through security AGAIN.


This is probably another good time to remind you all that all of us were

carrying actual assault rifles, and some of us were also carrying

pistols.


So we're in line, going through one at a time. One of our Soldiers had

his Gerber multi-tool. TSA confiscated it. Kind of ridiculous, but it

gets better. A few minutes later, a guy empties his pockets and has a

pair of nail clippers. Nail clippers. TSA informs the Soldier that

they're going to confiscate his nail clippers. The conversation went

something like this:


TSA Guy:  You can't take those on the plane.


Soldier:  What? I've had them since we left country.


TSA Guy:  You're not supposed to have them.


Soldier:  Why?


TSA Guy:  They can be used as a weapon.


Soldier:  [touches butt stock of the rifle] But this actually is a

weapon. And I'm allowed to take it on.


TSA Guy:  Yeah but you can't use it to take over the plane. You don't

have bullets.


Soldier:  And I can take over the plane with nail clippers?


TSA Guy: [awkward silence]


Me:   Dude, just give him your damn nail clippers so we can get the f**k

out of here. I'll buy you a new set.


Soldier: [hands nail clippers to TSA guy, makes it through security]


To top it off, TSA demanded we all be swabbed for "explosive

residue" detection.  Everyone failed, [go figure, we just came home from

a war zone], because we tested positive for "Gun Powder Residue".


Who the F**K is hiring these people?


This might be a good time to remind everyone that approximately 233

people re-boarded that plane with assault rifles, pistols, and machine

guns-but nothing that could have been used as a weapon.


Can someone please tell me What the F**K happened to OUR country while

we were gone?


Sgt. Mike "Mad Dog" Tracy

JULY 16, 2011

Scientists question cancer risks of full-body scanners

Millions of fliers pass through them, but scientific experts are still at odds about the safety of full-body airport scanners that use an X-ray technology called backscatter. The machines use low-level beams to create an image of the body, revealing weapons or other concealed items beneath a passenger’s clothing.

My first experience with a TSA pat down happened at Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston, Texas, on August 13, 2011.  Everyone in line was going through the Cancer Scanner.  I didn’t even see a second line for those who wished to opt out.  When a TSA agent tried to guide me in, “No, no no no, I won’t go in there,” I said loudly enough for many people in line behind me to hear.  The agent pointed out a chair in the center of the security checkpoint and ordered me to sit.  I stood next to the chair instead.

“Male screener!”  He shouted.  I waited a couple moments, then I saw a young, and rather short African American male walking towards me while putting on his blue rubber gloves. 

“Follow me sir.” He ordered.  “Point out your belongings (from the scanners) and we will gather them for you.” 

Another guard joined with my bag and informed me that he would need to do an additional check with it as well.  I invited him to look.

The original guard informed me that since I opted out of the “clothing scanner”, I would be participating in TSA pat down procedure.  I smiled wide.  As the TSA guard began explaining the process, I smiled an anxious smile.  “I’m going to pat you down with my palm flat like this, and when I touch your genitalia area I will use the back of my hand like…”

“Whooo hooo,” I squealed loudly with excitement!  “No need to explain, I’m looking forward to this, lets get started!”  I said loudly.The TSA agent let out a genuine laugh and said, “Okay.”

He had me stand with my feet out and my arms spread “like an airplane” as he put it.  He began rubbing his hands up and down my back which I found myself awkwardly questioning if I was actually enjoying it, or just playing my role a little too well. 

As the agent began feeling inside my thigh, I brought my role to the next level.  “OOhh, watch out for the bulge, don’t get jealous now!”  I spoke more loudly this time, catching eyes from TSA agents all around, which made me wonder if I was pushing any dangerous buttons.  The agent patting me down just laughed.  

“Yeah, right there handsome.”  I kept my loud volume.  “WHEW” I squealed.  “Yes, keep that up and I’m going to get arrest for public indecency when I walk away.”  Many of the guards were laughing at this point, and other flyers were stopping to watch.  I took advantage of the public attention.  “Does this massage come with a happy ending cutie?”  Another agent walked up behind me quickly.  I couldn’t see him, but I knew his proximity was as close as the other, and I thought perhaps that comment was the one that went too far.

Nope, it wasn’t.  “You’re done sir.”  The first agent said barely let out over his laughing.  He carelessly finished his pat down procedure, and didn’t do it correctly.  I discovered that had I been an underwear bomber, the flaming homosexual routine would have distracted the agent from discovering it! 

The Castaway Attempts to Make

TSA Uncomfortable.